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In the beginning when I first learned to Ascend, I so wished I could bring the Ascension teachers back home and keep them in my house; it felt so nice to be around people who were fun, peaceful and not holding onto anything. It felt as if being in their presence would suck away all of the problems in life.
I went to a few courses, just because I wanted to experience that presence again, and whenever the course ended, I would ask when would be the next time that an Ascension teacher was coming to my community again. I followed the teachers around, and felt a sense of loss when they left.
There came a point when I completely realized that what I really wanted was not to be around Ascension teachers, but to have absolutely what they have. They are like solid reminders and a living confirmation of what I can be. That was when my desire was re-directed to go on a Mastery course, rather than hearing another lecture from a teacher. I wanted that experience for myself, and I wanted to be able to touch people like the teachers did me.
I couldn’t stand being comfortable with just being around peaceful people one after another; I want to be one of them.
It is so easy for us to start being satisfied with where we are at and ignore the infinity of the Grace of God. It is easy to forget our original passion for God once we just had a little taste of it; it is comforting to hide, because your heart knows how great your are and the mind is afraid of stepping into the fullest expression of God.
There is a tremendous difference between experiencing peace outside of you and being peace itself, between having joy and being Joy, between receiving love and be the totality of True Love.
For me, I was tired of chasing first spheres one after another, chasing the presence of Ascension teachers; I didn’t want to wait for the light to come, I wanted to be the lighthouse that shined through others’ hearts. The experience that the teachers showed me was not so I worshiped them or so they could gain some respect; it was, and has been a constant invitation for me to be the same as they are. All the great saints and sages presented themselves as invitations for us to be what they are, to experience what they have been experiencing.
All we need to do is show up.
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